Model 1 of this monstrous-ly BALLIN' console


Look! They made a second model!

“You still don't have a Sega CD!? What are you waitin' for? Nintendo to make one?”
Very Angry Black Guy, Sega CD Commercial

So it was 1992, and Sega was riding high on Mega Drive sales. But since everyone has a Mega Drive, how will Sega make even more cash? With the power of CD-Rom, of course! The Sega CD is a compact disc drive that attaches to one's Mega Drive (See What I Just Did There?). CDs can hold a ton of data, so Sega CD games can contain a ton of content. However, the developers working on the Sega CD were much too lazy? too awestruck at the system's incredible power to put any effort in their titles, so that went out the window.

So what did the Sega CD use its bountiful storage capacity for, you ask? You guessed it, full motion video! Full motion video (FMW for short) titles tie different video clips together to try to simulate a game. It's like playing a movie! Or watching a game. It depends on how you look at it, really.

Unfortunately, gamers were not won over by this wondrous invention (because HWSNBN brainwashed them into playing LOSER games such as Sonic the Hedgehog instead of fartinuous five), and the Sega CD turned out to be a worldwide flop. Some say that the Atari Jaguar sold more sheiit. That would be something.

Notable Games Released for Sega CDEdit

The Upside Down Show! - The Videogame

(2007): Shane and David must employ their Action Fingers to keep Mrs. Foil away from their house. Also, they need to buy a fridge. Weird. For some reason, Waweegee really likes this title.

Dragon's Lair

(1994):Play as Dirk Daring as he tries to save Princess Daphne from Singe, the evil dragon. Features all the gameplay of the arcade version.

Fartudinous Four

Based on the hit movie, this game features the Fartudinous Four in their quest to destroy Doctor Doom.

Sonic the Hedgehog CD

(1993): Sonic's first video game for the Sega CD. Although it featured innovative gameplay for its time (such as a time-travel mechanic), its utter lack of FMVs throughout the game doomed it to a life of unpopularity. It is one of the more obscure titles in the Sega CD library.


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