Not to be confused with Movie
Not to be confused with Zombies
Not to be confused with Weird Al Yankovich
Below is a rough summary of the script:
Admiral: This is Admiral Biatch to Base Count. t seems the stormtroopers have gone on strike and I have no experience with this type of shit. Who should I call for help?
Palpatine: Tell them mother fuckers 'bout the sheer Dark Side! (Dark Side!) Pull up on your planet, Death Star drive-by! (drive-by!) And we'll beat the Rebels, 'cause their skills ain't shit! (ain't shit!)
Vader: And in my TIE Fighter, zig-zags, they stay lit!
Yoda: Oh, shit! Yoda on the scene. 900 year old fiend smokin' Dagobah green! Bitches on my tip, like Lando on liquor.
Lando: Ah, you're just jealous, 'cause my black dick's thicker.
Lando: Yo! Tell 'em Chewie, last night I had Leia all drunk wantin' to do me.
Luke: Shut the fuck up man! Leia's my sister! The only thing you're gettin' is a beat-off blister.
Ben Kenobi: Luke, use the force before intercourse. But, Luke, don't forget!
Lando: Bitches ain't nothin', but hos and trips.
Luke: bi-wan, I'm the top gun!
Ben Kenobi: Top gun!
Luke: The chosen one, hotter than them both suns! Vader ain't shit, his head's cut up and split! He's slower than the first Pentium Chip!
Stormptroopers, Vader, and The Emperor: Dark Side!
Vader: The ones who bring remorse to this fucking universe!
Yoda, Ewoks, Chewbacca, Lando, Luke, and Leia : Rebels!
Luke: Ya know we'll fucking win, 'cause we're fightin' to the end!
The Emporer, Stormtroopers, and Vader: Dark Side!
Palpatine: I can feel the anger dwelling within you!
Luke, Leia, Lando, Chewbacca, Yoda, and Ewoks: Rebels!
Yoda: You also feel Vader's dick in you, BIATCH!
Han Solo: Jabba, you ain't nuttin' but a Fatass slug! Fake gold chains? You sorry-ass thug! Sittin' in your palace with your blue-headed whore. rapped door to the Rancor. *sound of someone falling*
C3PO: Oh, my! Goodness gracious me! I'm a gay man's golden fantasy! Programmed for homo-exstasy, ten million forms of gay positioning. But, or my golden showa', you must pay a fee, but R2-D2 gives it up for free. *R2-D2 squeaks* R2-D2, watch your language! Always having sex with robotic strangers!
Jar Jar Binks: Meesa like to drink and smoke all night! Meesa like to fight and fucka yo wife. Meesa no care, 'cause meesa so dumb. Meesa will fuck you with me tongue. Yousa wants a meesa causea meesa wants some. Yousa wants a meesa causea meesa wants some. Yousa wants a meesa causea meesa wants some. Meesa wants some causea meesa wanna cum!